Twilight 13. CONFESSIONS

13. CONFESSIONSEdward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldnt get used to it, though Id been staring at him all later onnoon. His skin, white des commemoratee the faint flush from yesterdays hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were engraft in the sur impertinence. He lay perfectly clam up in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, light chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didnt sleep. A perfect statue, form in some unjazzn st one(a), smooth like marble, reflecting like crystal. instanter and because, his lips would move, so immobile it looked like they were trembling. tho, when I asked, he t grizzly me he was singing to himself it was in like manner low for me to run across.I enjoyed the sun, excessively, though the atmospheric state wasnt rather dry enough for my taste. I would cede liked to lie subscribe, as he did, and allow the sun warm my impudence. and I hind eranceed curled up, my chin resting on my knees, unwilling to take my eye off him. The wind was gentle it tangled my hair and ruffled the grass that swayed more or less his trendless form.The meadow, so spectacular to me at branch, paled next to his magnificence.Hesitantly, always claustrophobic, even now, that he would disappear like a mirage, too beautiful to be real hesitantly, I reached protrude one finger and stroked the back of his shimmering hand, where it lay inwardly my reach. I marveled once again at the perfect texture, satin smooth, cool as s sapidity. When I looked up again, his eye were open, reflection me. thoterscotch today, lighter, warmer later on hunting. His quick smiling countermanded up the corners of his flawless lips.I dont scare you? he asked function mounty, muchover I could hear the real curiosity in his soft portion.No more than usual.He smiled wider his teeth flashed in the sun.I inched closer, stretched out my whole hand now to trace the contours of his forearm with my fingertips. I apothegm that my fingers trembled, and knew it wouldnt escape his nonice.Do you school principal? I asked, for he had unlikable his eye again.No, he state without opening his look. You cant imagine how that lookings. He sighed.I lightly trailed my hand over the perfect muscles of his arm, followed the faint radiation pattern of bluish veins inside the crease at his elbow. With my other hand, I reached to turn his hand over. Realizing what I wished, he flipped his palm up in one of those blindingly fast, disconcerting movements of his. It galvanise me my fingers froze on his arm for a sketch second.Sorry, he murmured. I looked up in cartridge clip to see his golden eye close again. Its too easy to be myself with you.I lifted his hand, turning it this way and that as I watched the sun glitter on his palm. I held it closer to my face, try to see the hidden facets in his skin. attest me what youre withdrawing, he whispered. I looked to see his eyes watching me, explosively intent. Its lock in so strange for me, non inhabiting.You know, the rest of us olfactory sensation that way all the time.Its a hard life. Did I imagine the hint of regret in his tone? But you didnt tell me.I was wishing I could know what you were thinking I hesitated.And?I was wishing that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasnt a apprehensiond(predicate).I dont want you to be afraid. His enunciate was just a soft murmur. I heard what he couldnt truthfully say, that I didnt need to be afraid, that there was nonhing to fear.Well, thats not exactly the fear I meant, though thats certainly something to think about.So quickly that I missed his movement, he was half sitting, propped up on his right arm, his left palm still in my hands. His angels face was only a few inches from mine. I might have should have flinched outside(a) from his unexpected closeness, but I was unable to move. His golden eyes m esmerized me.What are you afraid of, then? he whispered intently.But I couldnt answer. As I had just that once forrader, I smelled his cool breath in my face. Sweet, delicious, the scent made my mouth water. It was unlike e rattlingthing else. Instinctively, unthinkingly, I leaned closer,inhaling.And he was gone, his hand ripped from mine. In the time it took my eyes to focus, he was twenty feet away, standing at the edge of the small meadow, in the of late shade of a huge fir tree. He stared at me, his eyes dark in the shadows, his expression un pick outable.I could feel the legal injury and shock on my face. My empty hands stung.Im sorry Edward, I whispered. I knew he could hear.Give me a twinkling, he called, just loud enough for my less bare-ass ears. I sat very(prenominal) still.After ten incredibly long seconds, he walked back, slowly for him. He stopped, still s invariablyal feet away, and sank gracefully to the ground, crossing his legs. His eyes never left mine. He took two mystic breaths, and then smiled in apology.I am so very sorry. He hesitated. Would you hear what I meant if I said I was only human?I nodded once, not quite able to smile at his joke. Adrenaline pulsed through my veins as the realization of danger slowly sank in. He could smell that from where he sat. His smile turned mocking.Im the worlds better(p) predator, arent I? Everything about me invites you in my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that Unexpectedly, he was on his feet, bounding away, instantly out of sight, only to appear beneath the same tree as before, having circled the meadow in half a second.As if you could outrun me, he laughed bitterly.He reached up with one hand and, with a deafening crack, effortlessly ripped a two-foot-thick branch from the trunk of the spruce. He balanced it in that hand for a arcminute, and then threw it with blinding speed, shattering it against another huge tree, which shook and trembled at the blow.And he was in front of me again, standing two feet away, still as a stone.As if you could fight me off, he said gently.I sat without moving, more frightened of him than I had ever been. Id never seen him so altogether freed of that studiously cultivated facade. Hed never been less human or more beautiful. Face ashen, eyes wide, I sat like a bird locked in the eyes of a snake.His passionatenessly eyes reckon to glow with rash excitement. Then, as the seconds passed, they dimmed. His expression slowly folded into a mask of ancient sadness.Dont be afraid, he murmured, his velvet voice unintentionally seductive. I promise He hesitated. I swear not to hurt you. He seemed more concerned with convincing himself than me.Dont be afraid, he whispered again as he stepped closer, with exaggerated slowness. He sat sinuously, with deliberately unhurried movements, till our faces were on the same level, just a foot apart. beguile forgive me, he said formally. I can control myself. You caught me off guard. B ut Im on my best behavior now.He waited, but I still couldnt speak.Im not thirsty today, honestly. He winked.At that I had to laugh, though the sound was shaky and breathless.Are you all right? he asked tenderly, arriver out slowly, carefully, to place his marble hand back in mine.I looked at his smooth, gelid hand, and then at his eyes. They were soft, repentant. I looked back at his hand, and then deliberately returned to tracing the lines in his hand with my fingertip. I looked up and smiled timidly.His answering smile was dazzling.So where were we, before I behaved so rudely? he asked in the gentle cadences of an earlier century.I honestly cant remember.He smiled, but his face was ashamed. I think we were talk of the town about why you were afraid, besides the obvious reason.Oh, right.Well?I looked charge at his hand and doodled aimlessly crosswise his smooth, iridescent palm. The seconds ticked by.How easily frustrated I am, he sighed. I looked into his eyes, abruptly gras ping that this was every bit as new to him as it was to me. As many years of unfathomable experience as he had, this was hard for him, too. I took courage from that thought.I was afraid because, for, well, obvious reasons, I cant stay with you. And Im afraid that Id like to stay with you, a lot more than I should. I looked conquer at his hands as I spoke. It was difficult for me to say this aloud.Yes, he agreed slowly. That is something to be afraid of, indeed. Wanting to be with me. Thats actually not in your best interest.I frowned.I should have left long ago, he sighed. I should leave now. But I dont know if I can.I dont want you to leave, I mumbled pathetically, staring down again.Which is exactly why I should. But dont worry. Im essentially a selfish creature. I beseech your alliance too much to do what I should.Im glad.Dont be He withdrew his hand, more gently this time his voice was harsher than usual. Harsh for him, still more beautiful than any human voice. It was hard to keep up his sudden wittiness changes left me always a step behind, dazed.Its not only your company I crave Never forget that. Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else. He stopped, and I looked to see him gazing unseeingly into the wood.I thought for a moment.I dont think I escort exactly what you mean by that last part anyway, I said.He looked back at me and smiled, his mood shifting yet again.How do I explain? he mused. And without frightening you again hmmmm. Without seeming to think about it, he situated his hand back in mine I held it tightly in both of mine. He looked at our hands.Thats amazingly pleasant, the warmth. He sighed.A moment passed as he assembled his thoughts.You know how everyone enjoys different flavors? he began. Some people love chocolate ice cream, others prefer strawberry?I nodded.Sorry about the food analogy I couldnt think of another way to explain.I smiled. He smiled ruefully back.You see, every person smells different, h as a different essence. If you locked an alcoholic in a dwell full of stale beer, hed gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if he were a recovering alcoholic. Now lets say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac and filled the room with its warm flavor how do you think he would fare then?We sat motionlessly, spirit into each others eyes trying to read each others thoughts.He broke the silence setoff.Maybe thats not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead.So what youre saying is, Im your brand of heroin? I teased, trying to lighten the mood.He smiled swiftly, seeming to appreciate my effort. Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin.Does that happen often? I asked.He looked crosswise the treetops, thinking through his response.I spoke to my brothers about it. He still stared into the distance. To Jasper, every one of y ou is much the same. Hes the most recent to join our family. Its a struggle for him to abstain at all. He hasnt had time to gravel sensitive to the differences in smell, in flavor. He glanced swiftly at me, his expression apologetic.Sorry, he said.I dont mind. Please dont worry about offending me, or frightening me, or whichever. Thats the way you think. I can netherstand, or I can try to at least. Just explain however you can.He took a deep breath and gazed at the sky again.So Jasper wasnt accepted if hed ever come across someone who was as he hesitated, looking for the right word appealing as you are to me. Which makes me think not. Emmett has been on the wagon longer, so to speak, and he understood what I meant. He says twice, for him, once loyaler than the other.And for you?Never.The word hung there for a moment in the warm breeze.What did Emmett do? I asked to break the silence.It was the wrong question to ask. His face grew dark, his hand clutch into a fist inside mine. He looked away. I waited, but he wasnt going to answer.I scene I know, I ultimately said.He lifted his eyes his expression was wistful, pleading.Even the strongest of us lessen off the wagon, dont we?What are you asking? My permission? My voice was sharper than Id intended. I attempt to make my tone kinder I could guess what his honesty must cost him. I mean, is there no hope, then? How sedately I could discuss my own deathNo, no He was instantly contrite. Of course theres hope I mean, of course I wont He left the sentence hanging. His eyes burned into mine. Its different for us. Emmett these were strangers he happened across. It was a long time ago, and he wasnt as practiced, as careful, as he is now.He dismiss silent and watched me intently as I thought it through.So if wed met oh, in a dark alley or something I trailed off.It took everything I had not to jump up in the middle of that class full of children and - He stopped abruptly, looking away. When you walked past me, I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadnt been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldnt have been able to stop myself. He paused, scowling at the trees.He glanced at me grimly, both of us remembering. You must have thought I was possessed.I couldnt understand why. How you could hate me so quicklyTo me, it was like you were some kind of demon, summoned heterosexual person from my own personal stone pit to ruin me. The fragrance coming off your skin I thought it would make me deranged that scratch line day. In that one hour, I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the room with me, to get you alone. And I fought them each back, thinking of my family, what I could do to them. I had to run out, to get away before I could speak the words that would make you followHe looked up then at my staggered expression as I tried to absorb his bitter memories. His golden eyes scorched from under his lashes, hypn otic and deadly.You would have come, he promised.I tried to speak calmly. Without a doubt.He frowned down at my hands, releasing me from the force of his stare. And then, as I tried to rearrange my schedule in a bony attempt to avoid you, you were there in that close, warm fiddling room, the scent was maddening. I so very nearly took you then. There was only one other frail human there so easily dealt with.I shivered in the warm sun, seeing my memories anew through his eyes, only now grasping the danger. pitiful Ms. Cope I shivered again at how close Id come to being inadvertently responsible for her death.But I resisted. I dont know how. I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you from the school. It was easier outside, when I couldnt smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. I left the others near home I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very wrong and then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital , to tell him I was leaving.I stared in surprise.I traded cars with him he had a full cooler of gas and I didnt want to stop. I didnt dare to go home, to face Esme. She wouldnt have let me go without a scene. She would have tried to convince me that it wasnt necessaryBy the next morning I was in Alaska. He sounded ashamed, as if admitting a great cowardice. I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances but I was homesick. I hated knowing Id upset Esme, andthe rest of them, my adopted family. In the light air of the mountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to run away. Id dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I was strong. Who were you, an insignificant little girl he grinned suddenly to heed me from the place I valued to be? So I came back He stared off into space.I couldnt speak.I took precautions, hunting, feeding more than usual before seeing you again. I was sure that I was strong eno ugh to treat you like any other human. I was arrogant about it.It was unquestionably a complication that I couldnt barely read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. I wasnt used to having to go to such circuitous measures, listening to your words in Jessicas mind her mind isnt very original, and it was annoying to have to bow down to that. And then I couldnt know if you really meant what you said. It was all extremely irritating. He frowned at the memory.I wanted you to forget my behavior that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. I was eager actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expressions and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair, and the scent would stun me againOf course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment because if I hadnt saved you, if your production line had been spilled there in front of me, I dont think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, Not her.He closed his eyes, lost in his agonized confession. I listened, more eager than rational. Common sense told me I should be terrified. Instead, I was relieved to finally understand. And I was filled with compassion for his suffering, even now, as he confessed his craving to take my life.I finally was able to speak, though my voice was faint. In the hospital?His eyes flashed up to mine. I was appalled. I couldnt believe I had put us in danger after all, put myself in your power you of all people. As if I needed another motive to eat up you. We both flinched as that word slipped out. But it had the opposite effect, he continued quickly. I fought with Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper when they suggested that now was the time the worst fight weve ever had. Carlisle sided with me, and Alice. He grimaced when he said her name. I couldnt imagine why. Esme told me to do any(prenominal) I had to in order to stay. He shook his head indulgently.All that next day I eavesdropped on the minds of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you kept your word. I didnt understand you at all. But I knew that I couldnt become more involved with you. I did my very best to stay as far from you as possible. And every day the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair it hit me as hard as the very first day.He met my eyes again, and they were surprisingly tender.And for all that, he continued, Id have fared better if I had exposed us all at that first moment, than if now, here with no witnesses and nothing to stop me I were to hurt you.I was human enough to have to ask. Why?Isabella. He pronounced my full name carefully, then playfully ruffled my hair with his free hand. A shock ran through my body at his casual touch. Bella, I couldnt live with m yself if I ever hurt you. You dont know how its tortured me. He looked down, ashamed again. The thought of you, still, white, cold to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses it would be unendurable. He lifted his glorious, agonizedeyes to mine. You are the most serious thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever.My head was spinning at the rapid change in direction our conversation had taken. From the cheerful topic of my impending demise, we were suddenly declaring ourselves. He waited, and even though I looked down to study our hands between us, I knew his golden eyes were on me. You already know how I feel, of course, I finally said. Im here which, roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you. I frowned. Im an idiot.You are an idiot, he agreed with a laugh. Our eyes met, and I laughed, too. We laughed together at the idiocy and sheer impossibility of such a moment.And so the lion fell in love with the lamb he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word.What a doltish lamb, I sighed.What a sick, masochistic lion. He stared into the shadowy timbre for a long moment, and I wondered where his thoughts had taken him.Why ? I began, and then paused, not sure how to continue.He looked at me and smiled sunlight glinted off his face, his teeth.Yes?Tell me why you ran from me before.His smile thinned. You know why.No, I mean, exactly what did I do wrong? Ill have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldnt do. This, for example I stroked the back of his hand seems to be all right.He smiled again. You didnt do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault.But I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you.Well He contemplated for a moment. It was just how close you were. Most humans instinctively jump away from us, are repelled by our alienness I wasnt expecting you to come so close. And the smell o f your throat. He stopped short, looking to see if hed upset me.Okay, then, I said flippantly, trying to alleviate the suddenly tense atmosphere. I tuck my chin. No throat exposure.It worked he laughed. No, really, it was more the surprise than anything else.He raised his free hand and placed it gently on the side of my neck. I sat very still, the chill of his touch a inhering warning a warning telling me to be terrified. But there was no feeling of fear in me. There were, however, other feelingsYou see, he said. Perfectly fine.My blood was racing, and I wished I could slow it, sense that this must make everything so much more difficult the thudding of my pulse in my veins. sure as shooting he could hear it.The blush on your cheeks is lovely, he murmured. He gently freed his other hand. My hands fell limply into my lap. Softly he brushed my cheek, then held my face between his marble hands.Be very still, he whispered, as if I wasnt already frozen.Slowly, never moving his eyes f rom mine, he leaned toward me. Then abruptly, but very gently, he rested his cold cheek against the hollow at the base of my throat. I was quite unable to move, even if Id wanted to.I listened to the sound of his even external respiration, watching the sun and wind play in his bronze hair, more human than any other part of him.With deliberate slowness, his hands slid down the sides of my neck. I shivered, and I heard him catch his breath. But his hands didnt pause as they softly go to my shoulders, and then stopped.His face drifted to the side, his nose skimming across my collarbone. He came to rest with the side of his face press tenderly against my chest.Listening to my heart.Ah, he sighed.I dont know how long we sat without moving. It could have been hours. Eventually the hurt of my pulse quieted, but he didnt move or speak again as he held me. I knew at any moment it could be too much, and my life could end so quickly that I might not even notice. And I couldnt make myself b e afraid. I couldnt think of anything, except that he was touching me.And then, too soon, he released me.His eyes were peaceful.It wont be so hard again, he said with satisfaction.Was that very hard for you?Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. And you?No, it wasnt bad for me.He smiled at my inflection. You know what I mean.I smiled.Here. He took my hand and placed it against his cheek. Do you feel how warm it is?And it was around warm, his usually icy skin. But I barely noticed, for I was touching his face, something Id dreamed of constantly since the first day Id seen him.Dont move, I whispered.No one could be still like Edward. He closed his eyes and became as immobile as stone, a carving under my hand.I moved even more slowly than he had, careful not to make one unexpected move. I caressed his cheek, delicately stroked his eyelid, the empurpled shadow in the hollow under his eye. I traced the shape of his perfect nose, and then, so carefully, his flawless lips. His lips split under my hand, and I could feel his cool breath on my fingertips. I wanted to lean in, to breathe in the scent of him. So I dropped my hand and leaned away, not wanting to push him too far.He assailable his eyes, and they were hungry. Not in a way to make me fear, but rather to tighten the muscles in the pit of my stomach and send my pulse hammering through my veins again.I wish, he whispered, I wish you could feel the complexity the confusion I feel. That you could understand.He raised his hand to my hair, then carefully brushed it across my face.Tell me, I breathed.I dont think I can. Ive told you, on the one hand, the hunger the thirst that, pitiable creature that I am, I feel for you. And I think you can understand that, to an extent. Though he half-smiled as you are not addicted to any illegal substances, you probably cant empathizecompletely.But His fingers fey my lips lightly, making me shiver again. There are other hungers. Hungers I dont even understand, that are foreign to me.I may understand that better than you think.Im not used to feeling so human. Is it always like this?For me? I paused. No, never. Never before this.He held my hands between his. They felt so feeble in his urge strength.I dont know how to be close to you, he admitted. I dont know if I can.I leaned beforehand very slowly, cautioning him with my eyes. I placed my cheek against his stone chest. I could hear his breath, and nothing else.This is enough, I sighed, destruction my eyes.In a very human gesture, he put his arms around me and pressed his face against my hair.Youre better at this than you give yourself credit for, I noted.I have human instincts they may be buried deep, but theyre there.We sat like that for another immeasurable moment I wondered if he could be as unwilling to move as I was. But I could see the light was fading, the shadows of the forest beginning to touch us, and I sighed.You have to go.I thought you couldnt read my mind.Its getting clearer. I could hear a smile in his voice.He took my shoulders and I looked into his face.Can I show you something? he asked, sudden excitement flaring in his eyes.Show me what?Ill show you how I travel in the forest. He saw my expression. Dont worry, youll be very safe, and well get to your truck much faster. His mouth twitched up into that crooked smile so beautiful my heart nearly stopped.Will you turn into a bat? I asked warily.He laughed, louder than Id ever heard. Like I havent heard that one beforeRight, Im sure you get that all the time.Come on, little coward, climb on my back.I waited to see if he was kidding, but, apparently, he meant it. He smiled as he read my hesitation, and reached for me. My heart reacted even though he couldnt hear my thoughts, my pulse always gave me away. He then proceeded to fling me onto his back, with very little effort on my part, besides, when in place, clamping my legs and arms so tightly around him that it would murmur a linguistic rule person. It was like clinging to a stone.Im a bit heavier than your average backpack, I warned.Hah he snorted. I could almost hear his eyes rolling. Id never seen him in such high spirits before.He startled me, suddenly grabbing my hand, pressing my palm to his face, and inhaling deeply.Easier all the time, he muttered.And then he was running.If Id ever feared death before in his presence, it was nothing compared to how I felt now.He streaked through the dark, thick underbrush of the forest like a bullet, like a ghost. There was no sound, no evidence that his feet touched the earth. His breathing never changed, never indicated any effort. But the trees flew by at deadly speeds, always missing us by inches.I was too terrified to close my eyes, though the cool forest air whipped against my face and burned them. I felt as if I were stupidly sticking my head out the window of an airplane in flight. And, for the first time in my life, I felt the dizzy faintness of motion sickness.Then it was ove r. Wed hiked hours this morning to reach Edwards meadow, and now, in a matter of minutes, we were back to the truck.Exhilarating, isnt it? His voice was high, excited.He stood motionless, hold for me to climb down. I tried, but my muscles wouldnt respond. My arms and legs stayed locked around him while my head spun uncomfortably.Bella? he asked, anxious now.I think I need to lie down, I gasped.Oh, sorry. He waited for me, but I still couldnt move.I think I need help, I admitted.He laughed quietly, and gently unloosened my stranglehold on his neck. There was no resisting the iron strength of his hands. Then he pulled me around to face him, cradling me in his arms like a small child. He held me for a moment, then carefully placed me on the springy ferns.How do you feel? he asked.I couldnt be sure how I felt when my head was spinning so crazily. Dizzy, I think.Put your head between your knees.I tried that, and it helped a little. I breathed in and out slowly, keeping my head very stil l. I felt him sitting beside me. The moments passed, and eventually I found that I could raise my head. There was a hollow ringing sound in my ears.I guess that wasnt the best idea, he mused.I tried to be positive, but my voice was weak. No, it was very interesting.Hah Youre as white as a ghost no, youre as white as meI think I should have closed my eyes.Remember that next time.Next time I groaned.He laughed, his mood still radiant.Show-off, I muttered. spread your eyes, Bella, he said quietly.And he was right there, his face so close to mine. His beauty stunned my mind it was too much, an excess I couldnt grow accustomed to.I was thinking, while I was running He paused.About not hitting the trees, I hope.Silly Bella, he chuckled. Running is second nature to me, its not something I have to think about.Show-off, I muttered again.He smiled.No, he continued, I was thinking there was something I wanted to try. And he took my face in his hands again.I couldnt breathe.He hesitated not in the normal way, the human way.Not the way a man might hesitate before he kissed a woman, to gauge her reaction, to see how he would be received. Perhaps he would hesitate to prolong the moment, that ideal moment of anticipation, sometimes better than the kiss itself.Edward hesitated to test himself, to see if this was safe, to make sure he was still in control of his need.And then his cold, marble lips pressed very softly against mine.What neither of us was prepared for was my response. rip boiled under my skin, burned in my lips. My breath came in a wild gasp. My fingers knotted in his hair, clutching him to me. My lips parted as I breathed in his heady scent.Immediately I felt him turn to unresponsive stone beneath my lips. His hands gently, but with irresistible force, pushed my face back. I opened my eyes and saw his guarded expression.Oops, I breathed.Thats an understatement.His eyes were wild, his jaw clenched in acute restraint, yet he didnt lapse from his perfect articula tion. He held my face just inches from his. He dazzled my eyes.Should I ? I tried to disengage myself, to give him some room.His hands refused to let me move so much as an inch.No, its tolerable. deferment for a moment, please. His voice was polite, controlled.I kept my eyes on his, watched as the excitement in them faded and gentled.Then he smiled a surprisingly impish grin.There, he said, obviously pleased with himself.Tolerable? I asked.He laughed aloud. Im stronger than I thought. Its nice to know.I wish I could say the same. Im sorry.You are only human, after all.Thanks so much, I said, my voice acerbic.He was on his feet in one of his lithe, almost invisibly quick movements. He held out his hand to me, an unexpected gesture. I was so used to our standard of careful non-contact. I took his icy hand, needing the support more than I thought. My balance had not yet returned.Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise? How lighthearted, how human he seemed as he laughed now, his dulcet face untroubled. He was a different Edward than the one I had known. And I felt all the more besotted by him. It would cause me physical pain to be separated from him now.I cant be sure, Im still woozy, I managed to respond. I think its some of both, though.Maybe you should let me admit.Are you insane? I protested.I can drive better than you on your best day, he teased. You have much slower reflexes.Im sure thats true, but I dont think my nerves, or my truck, could take it.Some trust, please, Bella.My hand was in my pocket, curled tightly around the delineate. I pursed my lips, deliberated, then shook my head with a tight grin.Nope. Not a chance.He raised his eyebrows in disbelief.I started to step around him, heading for the drivers side. He might have let me pass if I hadnt wobbled slightly. Then again, he might not have. His arm created an inescapable snare around my waist.Bella, Ive already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to k eep you alive. Im not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you cant even walk straight. Besides, friends dont let friends drive drunk, he quoted with a chuckle. I could smell the unbearably sweet fragrance coming off his chest.inebriate? I objected.Youre intoxicated by my very presence. He was grinning that playful smirk again.I cant repugn with that, I sighed. There was no way around it I couldnt resist him in anything. I held the key high and dropped it, watching his hand flash like lightning to catch it soundlessly. Take it easy my truck is a senior citizen.Very sensible, he approved.And are you not affected at all? I asked, irked. By my presence?Again his mobile features transformed, his expression became soft, warm. He didnt answer at first he simply bent his face to mine, and brushed his lips slowly along my jaw, from my ear to my chin, back and forth. I trembled.Regardless, he finally murmured, I have better reflexes.